My Biggest Regret In Life

“Knowing what you know now, if you could go back to 10 years ago, what would you do differently?”

I was recently asked this question as a guest on a podcast and it made me think.

If I could pick one thing that I regret in the last 10 years, I would say…

“I wish I learned earlier how to be assertive.”

Might sound like a weird regret, but hear me out.

I think being assertive is one of the most underutilized skills for the majority of people.

It’s not about being overly aggressive and overbearingly confident with others.

It’s more about upfront, to-the-point honesty.

You’re neither passive nor aggressive.

You are assertive.

And not only do people respect that quality in others, but you’ll grow to respect yourself more as you consciously assert yourself more.

Here are a few ways to think about being assertive:

1. You Are One Opportunity Away From A Completely Different Life

If we rewind back to 2018, I had recently worked with Parker Walbeck as a videographer just a few months prior and I thought it would be dope if Full Time Filmmaker made a course teaching you how to make seamless transitions that adopted the Sam Kolder style that was all the rage during that time.

So I decided to shoot Parker a text and suggest the idea to him.

His response surprisingly, was a question thrown back at me:

“Well, why don’t YOU make it?”

Obviously Parker was the assertive one here, and I have him to thank for giving me the opportunity to join FTF when he could’ve just as easily said, “Ya great idea, thanks.”

And left it at that.

That conversation was a valuable lesson for me.

Don’t wait around for an opportunity to come your way.

When you are assertive, you can literally create new opportunities for yourself that change the whole direction of your life.

BFiggy was recently on one of our weekly Happy Creatiive Coaching calls and he wisely said, “A closed mouth doesn’t get fed”.

The sooner you learn to speak up and “assume the sale” when talking to potential clients, the sooner you’ll find yourself enjoying opportunities you never have before.

Simply changing your words from “Hopefully we can work with you!” to “I’m looking forward to working with you!” can make all the difference.

If you don’t believe in what you have to offer then the other person won’t believe you either.

Believe in your ability to deliver and go and make it happen!

2. Great Leaders Are Excellent Communicators

As I’ve grown my business I’ve naturally found myself in a leadership role and I’ve learned how valuable clear and concise communication is to my team.

When you aren’t assertive in your communication, you are leaving a lot up to chance which will most likely end in a lot of confusion for those you work with.

Just recently I had my editor give me a final edit that I didn’t think made the cut.

There were both some minor and major changes I wanted him to make, and that can be an uncomfortable conversation to have.

But when those around you have grown to expect clear, upfront and honest feedback from you, it makes the conversation that much easier.

That doesn’t mean I just point out all the bad things and leave them be.

You can be just as assertive in your appreciation as you are your feedback.

It’s all about how honest you are.

Because people can see right through every word you say.

So don’t dance around hard conversations.

You can be direct and empathetic at the same time.

It’s all about how you word it.

3. Speed Is The Name Of The Game

The happiest and most fulfilled people I know are the assertive ones.

And they seem to always have something great going on.

They’re hitting milestones in their business, they’re impacting more and more people, they’re creating amazing content, and it almost seems effortless from an outsider’s view.

In reality, the only difference between them and you is being assertive.

They don’t wait around for things to happen, they make it happen.

They create their own luck.

And people wonder why they are so lucky.

Sure there’s always some luck involved.

But usually a lot less than you think.

Most luck originates from someone choosing to take extreme ownership and be proactive and grab life by the horns.

If every human on this planet realized how much potential they have inside of them, and that they can awaken that potential simply by asserting themselves more, I think a lot of people would be in a completely different place right now.

The reality is no one is going to do the work for you.

It’s all on you.

So get out there and make your dreams happen!

You got this 👊🏼

-Landon